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Foreign |
Viêtnamese |
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Affection |
 |
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People of the same sex holding hands is unusual and often indicates a same-sex
affection. |
It is quite acceptable. One can see two men or women in the street holding
hands. |
|
A man and a woman may hold hands or touch in public. |
People rarely do this in public. It looks 'very unusual'. |
|
A man can touch a woman (put an arm around her shoulder, hold her arm, kiss her
cheek, etc...) |
A man does not do this for affection or friendliness.
It is insulting to a
woman. |
|
Kissing (between husband and wife, lovers) in public is acceptable.
|
It is not acceptable. It should be done in private quarters. No kissing in
front of the children. |
|
Parents and children kiss each other. |
Rarely, except small babies. |
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Celebrations |
|
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Christmas and New Year holidays are the most important. |
Tet (Lunar New Year) is the most important. This date varies from year to
year, between JAN 15 & FEB 20. |
|
Foreigners celebrate birthdays. They give presents and throw birthday parties. |
Viêtnamese celebrate death days. They worship ancestors. They prepare a big meal
and invite members of the family and relatives to get together and talk about
the good aspects of the dead person. Birthdays are also celebrated, but are less
emphasised. |
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Clothing |
|
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Pajamas are not acceptable in public. |
They are quite acceptable in public, even in the streets. |
|
Shoes and slippers are used day and night. |
Slippers do not often exist. People can walk in the streets with bare feet. |
|
Foreigners wear leather shoes. |
Viêtnamese wear wooden and rubber shoes more often. |
|
Men and women wear Western-style clothing. |
Men wear Western-style clothing but women dress in their 'national' style. |
|
Women wear socks or stockings with shoes. |
They do not wear socks or stockings. Viêtnamese women go bare foot with their
shoes. |
|
Cooking and Eating |
|
|
Foreigners do not generally spend much time in preparing food. |
Viêtnamese spend a lot of time in preparing food. |
|
Groceries are bought once a week. |
Groceries are bought, fresh, everyday. |
|
Foreigners say 'grace' before eating and everybody starts eating after that. |
Viêtnamese children ask parents or elderly of the family to eat first, and they
follow. |
|
Foreigners use napkins and drink during meal. |
Viêtnamese do not use napkins but wash their hands and their faces before and
after every meal. They don't drink during eating, they drink afterward. |
|
Foreigners use knives, spoons, fork and plates. They eat soup in a plate. |
Viêtnamese use spoons, chopsticks and a bowl. They eat soup in a bowl. |
|
Foreigners have one big dinner per day. |
Viêtnamese have two equally large meals per day (lunch and dinner). |
|
The smell of prepared food is weak. |
They smell of Viêtnamese food is strong. |
|
American food is less spicy. |
Viêtnamese use more spices. |
|
Potato or bread is the main starch. |
Rice is the main starch. |
|
Meat is cooked in big pieces, they cut it during eating. |
Meat is cut into small pieces before cooking because they never use knife during
meal. |
|
Food is put in individual plates or on the table. They tend to pass the whole
plate of food around. |
The food is put on the table and individuals take piece by piece. The parents
get food for their children using their chopsticks, not by passing the whole
plate. |
|
All food is shared equally. |
Preferred food is served to parents or the elderly first. |
|
Foreigners do not make noise in appreciating good food. |
Viêtnamese sometimes make noise in appreciating good food, especially soup. |
|
Women can eat equally like men (in quantity). |
Women have to eat small amounts (like cats) and men in quantity (like tigers). |
|
Greetings |
|
|
Foreigners shake hands with the opposite sex. |
Viêtnamese do not shake hands with the opposite sex. They do not shake hands
with old people or women unless they offer their hand first. Instead, they
slightly bow their head and/or put the hands in front of the chest in order to
show more respect. Two women do not shake hands. |
|
Foreigners sometimes exchange cheek-kisses to express friendliness. |
Viêtnamese never exchange cheek-kisses. It will be a surprise or alarming to
most married women. |
|
Foreigners use 'waving motion' to call people. |
Waving motions are only used by adults to call little children but not in other
way. |
|
To pat someone on the back is acceptable. |
It is insulting to the Viêtnamese to be patted on the back; especially to women. |
|
Foreigners can greet anyone in the family first. |
A Viêtnamese greets the head of a family or an older person first, then the
younger ones. |
|
Houses |
|
|
Homes have more rooms, space and conveniences. |
Homes are small in cities and towns. |
|
Home are mostly constructed of wood or brick. |
Homes, in the country side, are usually made of bamboo trees, dry rice plants
and mud. In the cities, they are constructed of brick or cement. |
|
There are places for children to play inside. |
More rooms are reserved for bedrooms. |
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Housing and Sleeping |
|
|
Everybody owns a bed, including children. |
Not everyone owns a bed. |
|
Foreigners do not share a bed with same sex. |
Viêtnamese can share a bed with the same sex. It is not abnormal for two male or
female friends or relatives to share one bed. |
|
A double-bed sleeps only two people. |
It can even sleep three or four people. |
|
A bed implies mattress and spring board, bed sheets and bed spread. |
A bed is made of either wood or bamboo and covered by a reed mat. (Many
Viêtnamese do not know how to make a bed in the Western syle). |
|
Children sleep in their own bedrooms. |
Children often sleep with their parents. |
|
Foreigners sleep late on the week-ends. |
Viêtnamese get up early and every day. |
|
Foreigners do not take a siesta (afternoon nap). |
Viêtnamese take siestas almost every day. |
| |
One room is reserved for an altar. This is the sacred room where the worship
ancestors. |
|
Dating and Courting |
|
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Women can go out alone on dates. |
'Good' girls hardly go out on dates. It is the sign of bad or an 'uneducated'
girl. |
|
Men and women can go to either his or her house to see one another. |
It is considered very bad for a girl to go to a man's house unless they are
engaged. |
|
Dating can be 'Dutch'. |
This seldom occurs in Viêtnam. Men usually pay all the expenses. |
|
Two unmarried people of the opposite sex can share an apartment. |
This is considered 'immoral'. |
|
Family Relationships |
|
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Family relationships is not always close. |
It is very close in Viêtnam. |
|
Two generations (parents and children) live in a home. |
Three or four, sometimes, five, generations live under one roof. |
|
Old-aged parents live in nursing home. |
Elders live with children and usually are taken care of by their son,
daughter-in-law, or grandchildren. |
|
Young children are independent. |
Children have to obey and respect their parents and do not have much
independence. |
|
Young children are allowed to have choices. |
They are strictly disciplined. |
|
Grown-up unmarried children live separately and independently. |
Children still stay with the parents until they are married. |
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Spouses are considered equal legally and mentally. |
The husband is superior and the wife is a subordinate. |
|
Women are independent and have more legal and marital rights. |
Women, in general, must obey their father (when they are young and unmarried,
then their husband, then their eldest son in the case of the death of the
husband). |
|
Gifts and Giving |
|
|
Foreigners exchange gifts on Christmas and birthday occasions. |
Viêtnamese exchange gifts only on Tet occasion among family members,
relatives and close friends. |
|
They give thanks for gifts and send a 'Thank you' note. |
Viêtnamese do not use 'Thank You' note. |
|
Women happily accept gifts from the opposite sex. |
Viêtnamese women usually do not accept gifts from the opposite sex. If they do,
it is a sign of 'encouragement' or 'acceptance'. |
|
Manners |
|
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Putting a food on the table or a desk, either at home or in the office, is
acceptable, if among friends. |
Is is considered impolite to do this. |
|
Talking directly about the main subject is preferable. |
Viêtnamese talk around and around a subject before coming to the point. |
|
Looking straight into someone's eyes in conversation shows honesty and frankness |
It is not respectable especially to older people or superiors. |
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Philosophy of Life |
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It is more realistic. |
It is geared to spiritualism. |
|
Success is the key word, always striving for one step higher. |
Life is like a theater, everyone plays his/her own role then disappears. |
|
Foreigners make plans for the future. |
Viêtnamese live on a day-to-day basis, due to recent wars. |
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Life is competition. |
Life is 'take-it-easy'. |
|
They give thanks for gifts and send a 'Thank you' note. |
Viêtnamese do not use 'Thank You' note. |
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Professions |
|
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Educated people sometimes do not get a much higher salary than uneducated
people. |
They get much higher salary than the others. |
|
Educated people do not get automatic respect from others. |
Educated people get much respect from others. |
|
Skilled professions are most welcome and accepted. |
They are not welcome and emphasised. |
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Manual labour is acceptable in the society. |
It is looked down in the ladder of the society. |
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Some Necessities |
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Telephone is a must, almost everyone knows how to use it. |
It is luxury in Viêtnam and very few people know how to use it. (Foreigners should show Viêtnamese how to use it economically). |
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A car is a must. Many people know how to drive. |
It is luxury to the Viêtnamese, very few people know how to drive a car.
(Especially bus and truck drivers). |
|
Credit cards are widely used. |
Viêtnamese are only just what credit cards are. In Viêtnam, to be in debt is a
bad reputation, unless one invests in a business. |
|
Banks are popular and widely used. |
Banks are for rich people. The majority of people do not know how to used
banking services. |
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Electric appliances are used everywhere. |
They are considered a luxury. In some villages, there is no electricity. |
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Time Concepts |
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Punctuality is important. |
Time is not part of the way of life. |
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Time is strict and valuable. |
Time is 'elastic'; it can be stretched or contracted. |
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